The Tale of the Homeless Man, the Little Girl, and the Political Parties

A little girl was walking home from school one day. She passed a homeless man who was sitting on the sidewalk. He looked gaunt, so the girl asked, “Mister, you look hungry. Are you okay?”

The homeless man responded, “I am very hungry. Would you mind walking down to that fruit stand and getting some food for me?”

The little girl replied, “I would, but I don’t have any money.”

The homeless guy replied, “Don’t worry about that. Just go take the food. The owner is rich. He shouldn’t mind if you take a little to feed someone in need.”

The girl walked down to the fruit stand, swiped some apples, slipped them into her Hello Kitty backpack, and brought them to the homeless guy. The man munched on the apples and thanked her.

The little girl said, “This worked well. You were hungry, the rich owner of the fruit stand had plenty of food, I got some for you, and it didn’t cost us anything.”

The homeless guy swallowed and replied, “Welcome to the Green Party.”

The little Green Party girl came home and told her mother what had happened. The mother was bothered that her daughter was stealing food for homeless people, so she suggested her daughter come up with better ideas.

The next day, the little girl excitedly told her mother, “I have a great idea. I will go to everyone in the neighborhood and collect money from each house. I can then use the money to buy food for the homeless man.”

The mother replied, “Welcome to the Reform Party.”

The little Reform Party girl went door-to-door attempting to collect money for the homeless man, but very few people wanted to donate. One of her neighbors could see the girl was discouraged, so he suggested, “Don’t be upset. Not everybody has extra money to give.”

A smile came over the girl’s face, and she exclaimed, “I know. I will just go to the big houses to ask for money! The people in the big houses have lots of extra money to buy food for the homeless man.”

The neighbor grinned and replied, “Welcome to the Democratic Party.”

The little girl tried to collect money from the people in the big houses, but many of them were not home because they were out working. In frustration, the little girl gave up and walked down the street to her father’s hardware store.

When she walked into the store, her father noticed she was sad. He asked, “What’s wrong?”

She replied, “Daddy, I have been trying to collect money to buy food for a homeless man, but most of the people are out working or not willing to give me money. Maybe I should tell the homeless guy to start working. Then he would have enough money to buy his own food.”

The little girl’s father replied, “Welcome to the Republican Party.”

Later, the father drove his little Republican daughter home. She was surprised to see a black Suburban and six agents from the National Security Agency in her front yard. The burly lead agent yanked the little girl from her car and informed the child that the "homeless" man she was helping was a suspected threat to national security.

The frightened little girl was then questioned for an hour about her plans to finance the suspect's activities through an unauthorized fundraising/money-laundering scheme. The agent added that the little girl had been under 24-hour surveillance and a continuous wiretap since her initial contact with the suspicious homeless man.

The little girl asked the imposing agent if he had a warrant for all of these intrusions on her Fourth Amendment rights. The agent chuckled, confiscated her Hello Kitty backpack, and marched back to his black Suburban. The other five agents simultaneously scattered and disappeared into the hedges, trees, and flowerbeds around the girl's house.

As the NSA agent pulled away in his black Suburban, the terrified little girl asked, "Daddy, if the Federal government wants to intimidate me and invade my privacy, shouldn't they have to get a warrant first?"

Just then, the girl’s older brother pulled up on his bicycle and said, "Welcome to the Libertarian Party."

The Green Party: A Nut Dish for the Democrats

With the Democrats trying have the best of both worlds by riding the fence on many liberal issues, many Democrats are becoming increasing disillusioned with their party. The more conservative Democrats are defecting to the Republican Party, but there is a large percentage of disgruntled Democrats that would rather be dead than red. These Democrats can sometimes find things in common with the Reform Party, but they generally find that party too conservative as well. As a result, the most liberal Democrats are defecting to the Green Party.

The Green Party is the perfect place for an extreme liberal, because the Green Party is a place where liberalism is honored and celebrated with pride. The party is anti-military, pro-abortion, anti-business, pro-tax, anti-gun, pro-welfare, anti-religion, etc. This party essentially worships the doctrines of socialism and is not ashamed to admit it.

If you are a devout liberal and the Democrats are just not liberal enough for you, the Green Party is the place to be. No matter how crazy you are or wish to be in the future, the Green Party has a place for you.

It is absolutely wonderful that we live in a country with so much freedom that parties like the Green Party can exist. People that hold these radical beliefs need a place to be heard, and the Green Party is providing them a platform. A lot of people think the Green Party is a joke, but its numbers are growing, and the party is becoming a significant political force.

It is truly sad that we have so many socialists in this country, but the fact that they are permitted to organize is a testament to American liberty.

Green Party, I salute you. Let your freak flag fly!